More Varmints

As if squirrels weren't nemesis enough, once again a family of raccoons has moved into the 'condo in the sky' that is our neighbour's roof-top deck. Every night at dusk they emerge, and between midnight and 1 a.m., they return via my backyard. My staff must leash me for 'final pee' since mama raccoon could easily rip me apart, trying to defend her babies. I don't realize the danger...I just instinctively chase and bark at all intruders to our perimeter. That's my job, don'tcha know.

Dastardly squirrels again!

I was taken aback by the sight of a squirrel, my arch enemy, on my back deck railing, peering into the kitchen at me.....with my donut rawhide in his mitts. Gadzooks! How could that have happened?!! My staff could not answer. She knows not the secret movement of the donut rawhide, which I alone must conquer. And reclaim what is rightfully mine. Of course, how would I know if my staff, who is not normally duplicitous, hid a brand new donut rawhide in my bed, hoping that I would not notice?

Orange w. Polka Dots

I got a new collar and matching lead. My staff picked it up at swanky Eye Spy. They were reduced by 50% because "Leslieville is not yet ready to spend ridiculous amounts of money on its dogs." Pfft.

The matchy set is orange with polka dots. Fun!

A #1 clipper, please

I look like a chenille sweater. I was groomed at UrbanDog, enjoying a hydromassage bath, shampoo, conditioner, brush out, and hand blow dry with a "puppy cut." My staff has the good sense not to impose the ridiculous traditional Bichon-fro.

My report card says I was "a suspiciously perfect dog." I'm pleading the 5th. Well, I would if I were an American dog.

Look who's 5!

It's my birthday. Suck it, Tanya!

Who needs Wii-Fit?!

My staff must now refrain from calling me Mr. Tubby. Turns out, the nice vet man thinks I'm muscular, active, with a good heartbeat, and the perfect weight. I've lost .8 of a pound since last year! I think it has something to do with my sister biting my tail and chasing me around. She's my Juni-Fit. And high-end kibbles instead of meatloaf.

...and she looks ridiculous.

My staff acquired a Wii. It looks likes she's watching television, but she's flailing around and gesticulating with a white baton. I am not sure about this. Less hands available to scritch me.

I want to go to Tuscany. Very civilized.

http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/world/europe/article3578748.ece

Spring Apres Ski at home

My staff and I hung out on the back deck today, basking in the warm afternoon sun and silence (no one in the neighbourhood has set up their lawn furniture or backyard party tents yet). It's nice to have a west-facing backyard, especially in the spring.

Birthday Boodle

My staff received these gorgeous flowers for her birthday, from her friend K in NYC. Since there was distracting raclette at the party (cheese, potatoes, bread, chorizo, gherkins), Juniper was not taking running jumps at them, and the flowers have generously lasted more than a week. Spring is lovely, especially when it comes reluctantly, don't you think?

My staff also received fabulous books, bath salts, soap, single malt Scotches, fine wine, tattoos, the coveted Tilley hat, Mexican bingo (Loteria), a huge Civello Spa certificate, an Oilily pink top, fridge magnets, a weeping magical pussy willow, and fancy tea! Forty isn't so bad, after all. She had a very good month. Time to pass the baton....

Snowshoeing, sledding, and skating on the lake

My staff took me to Cedar Grove Lodge in Hunstville after her 40th birthday Raclette-Wii blowout. I had a blast. As you can see, it was a Bichon winter.

We stayed with Lady L in a cabin named Raven. But I'd go back for sure, not "nevermore"...


Crossing the lake.


Have blanket and pillow, will travel.


I made this snow cat! Okay, not really.


Igloo friends.

I like Pear.

Very much so. It's my new favorite fruit. I also like bananas, apples, oranges, and peaches. But not melon. Melon blows.

The Molloys can't be trusted with yellow liquid

I urinated on the Klarer carpet, then my staff spilled green tea lemonade on the Klarer couch.

Happy Beaster

When I eat all of my kibble, I see a bunny!

Juniper wanted a birthday drink at Teddy's

Juniper escaped out the front door on her birthday. She raced at full throttle straight up to 4 lanes of traffic on Queen Street East, followed by my staff in her socks- out of her head with panic and fear and piercing nanosecond images from the horrific dream that has haunted her since I came home in a cardboard box. Many people watched the two pass, and didn't do a thing. Luckily, a glazed but quick-thinking man saw them coming, as he was having a smoke outside Teddy's Sports Bar, on the north-east side of the street. He tore across the road, and headed her off at the pass, a mere metres from devastation and heartbreak, and my staff coming c0mpletely undone. If she had shoes on, she might have offered him a beer. That man is a hero.

You're my Venus...you're my fire!

Aunt K gave Juniper a natty pink bandana for her first birthday. The tag says "Bandana-Rama(tm) Bandana. Jouet pour chien."

Screaming bark or adorable plea?!! Hard to choose.

When my staff leaves, I bark. In a heightened panic.

Conversely, Juniper gets into her bag ("dans le sac!"), and looks up expectantly. I think Juniper's invocations are more effective....she knows women.

Busted

When my staff returned the other night, she found the photo frames from the side table on the floor, as well as a separated foam speaker cover. Juniper was probably trying to hide her stash....

Olympic Kibble Eating

When two dogs get together, we compete for food. And kibble. A whole lot of kibble has been consumed this week at my house.

Look's who's 1!

I'm looking after Juniper this week, as her staff is in Seattle, bringing home the raw hide. And Oilily and Lego.

Juniper has a LOT of intensity. Tonight is her last puppy school class, and later this week is her first birthday. We signed her up for piano, ballet, tap, and figure skating next fall....

Double Bichon, Double Kong

Waltzing into a Future Shop with Juniper, a Hipster remarked as he was exiting with his family, "Double Bichon!"

Double Bichons like Double Kongs.

And this Bichon likes knocking over boozy drinks with his Kong. It takes great marksmanship, but attracts big payout. My staff is rarely amused....a favorite pale blue Pingu tee was once collateral damage.

Westminster Follies

This is Oscar-worthy.
http://video.westminsterkennelclub.org/player/?id=216654

The best part is at 29 seconds remaining, when the best in breed pees on the pennant and then skips away, in gleeful triumph. The handler and judge are oblivious to this defiant gesture.

Also notable this year is that a beagle named Uno won Best in Show for the first time in history, to a standing New York ovation (also first in history). Yay Uno!

And if you have never seen Best in Show by Christopher Guest, I strongly urge you to do so.

Happy Valentine's everyone

I'm accepting cookies, treats, and scritches. I've got a date with a hot lamb later.

Vintage Snow Charlie, circa January 2005

Very negotiable instruments

The Scotiabank's jingle is "You're richer than you think."

Which is ironic, since my staff cashed in 7-year Canada Savings Bonds last year, and the idiot clerk mistakenly gave her $588 too much. Now the bank wants it back. Apparently, she's not as rich as she thought.

Shazam!

Cute With Chris

...is my new favorite distraction. You may have forgotten that I was once featured.

The wax lips were care of L, in honour of a party celebrating the release of Brian Wilson's "Smile."

Suck it Tanya! All your dreams are dead.

Reversible

I have a new coat for winter wandering. It is luxury-wale corduroy and faux shearling...also, it is reversible. The all-shearling side makes me look like a woolly mammoth. The corduroy side makes me look like Jake Gyllenhaal, n'est-ce pas?!

Art Attack - in my hood

At the top of my street, I took great pleasure in guerilla streetcar igloo art fun. Especially the snowman beside the fortress and the teddy bear sleigh on top of the shelter. Toronto Public Space Committee is welcome back anytime.

Snow storm

Every time I come in from the back yard, I have snowballs clinging to my undercarriage. My staff patiently uses the kitchen sink hose to gently melt the snow, then bundles me up in red Pottery Barn towels.

Hey That's My Fish....on Rushbrooke Avenue?!

A friend of my staff was walking along Rushbrooke, and came upon two Hey That's My Fish tiles. He collected them, under the reasonable assumption that they belonged to our copy. They did not. Is there a secret underground German boardgame society in Leslieville that we are not aware of? Very strange days, indeed.

Hoppitty

Yesterday, we walked along Queen West from west of Bathurst to University. In front of us, and rambling along at the same pace, was a man in a pale blue bunny suit and yellow Chuck Taylors. He stopped a few times for hipsters to take cell phone pictures with him.

Although he made a convincing rabbit, I do a better impression:

Scootch

My sister Juniper has a very upset tummy. Apparently, a tin of salmon, no matter how well-meaning, can cause "scootch bum" (nice term) and "ring of fire" (crass term) for a week. Another trip to the vet, and a regimen of yellow and white pills. The yellow pills are bitter, and often don't make it past the goalie and down the pipe. I'm helping out with Juniper-bilitation.

Ski bunnies

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times...

Go Gunners!

My staff took me to the Eaton Centre yesterday, on some boring iPod-related errands. But not before she got ejected from the Queen East streetcar for having me in my purse during rush hour. 3 p.m.-7 p.m. seems like a very long 'rush hour.' So we hopped on the second next streetcar, upon which we were allowed to ride, but we were reminded of the 'no dogs allowed during rush hour' policy, and she was chastised for using a ticket that had been purchased at the local 7-11 in December but had apparently expired Dec. 1, 2007. Pfft.

On the upside, I got 2 great new t-shirts. More pics coming soon of my sister Juniper and I in matching coats.

Bad Ass

Barking embargo

Now that the turkey and cranberry has been thrown back, and the new sweaters worn, and the treats imbibed, it's time for the annual January thaw. So dismal and depressing. Grass exposed and new smells in the backyard like it was spring, but ever dark. Even the squirrels are uninteresting, all wet and waterlogged....they look like rats running along the fence and scaling the neighbours' garages. Not worth a bark.