More Varmints

As if squirrels weren't nemesis enough, once again a family of raccoons has moved into the 'condo in the sky' that is our neighbour's roof-top deck. Every night at dusk they emerge, and between midnight and 1 a.m., they return via my backyard. My staff must leash me for 'final pee' since mama raccoon could easily rip me apart, trying to defend her babies. I don't realize the danger...I just instinctively chase and bark at all intruders to our perimeter. That's my job, don'tcha know.

Dastardly squirrels again!

I was taken aback by the sight of a squirrel, my arch enemy, on my back deck railing, peering into the kitchen at me.....with my donut rawhide in his mitts. Gadzooks! How could that have happened?!! My staff could not answer. She knows not the secret movement of the donut rawhide, which I alone must conquer. And reclaim what is rightfully mine. Of course, how would I know if my staff, who is not normally duplicitous, hid a brand new donut rawhide in my bed, hoping that I would not notice?

Orange w. Polka Dots

I got a new collar and matching lead. My staff picked it up at swanky Eye Spy. They were reduced by 50% because "Leslieville is not yet ready to spend ridiculous amounts of money on its dogs." Pfft.

The matchy set is orange with polka dots. Fun!

A #1 clipper, please

I look like a chenille sweater. I was groomed at UrbanDog, enjoying a hydromassage bath, shampoo, conditioner, brush out, and hand blow dry with a "puppy cut." My staff has the good sense not to impose the ridiculous traditional Bichon-fro.

My report card says I was "a suspiciously perfect dog." I'm pleading the 5th. Well, I would if I were an American dog.

Look who's 5!

It's my birthday. Suck it, Tanya!

Who needs Wii-Fit?!

My staff must now refrain from calling me Mr. Tubby. Turns out, the nice vet man thinks I'm muscular, active, with a good heartbeat, and the perfect weight. I've lost .8 of a pound since last year! I think it has something to do with my sister biting my tail and chasing me around. She's my Juni-Fit. And high-end kibbles instead of meatloaf.